amelialourdes | I'm FINALLY awake! (Reply)

I'm awake enough tonight to actually respond to previous posts and post something of substance tonight. This week at work I've been trying to get some overtime while they're offering it so I wake up early and spend about 10 hours there. So I'm pretty exhausted when I come home and then I have a day off and then I work and it's been on and off all week. Then yesterday was my mother's birthday.

She had a great day! Thankfully. She's been particularly stressed lately since her brother's been staying with us. She's not the most easy-going when it comes to people or places or things. Very high-strung and stressed out so I wanted her to have a relaxed day. I gave her her present in the morning. I got her that HP bundle from Best Buy. Such a great price for a laptop that comes with a mouse, laptop cover, and an 8 GB flash drive. It has Windows 8 on it which is a little... confusing even for me. It seems really sensitive. I was in one program and all of a sudden it switched to something else without notice. When you open it, they show you all the applications first but it does have a regular looking desktop option? So... looking forward to having to teach my mom when it's confusing to me.

After waiting for my cousin and then waiting for the food (stress) we finally relaxed to have lunch. After lunch, we went on a walk where we took some of the photos I posted yesterday. We took the picture of the two of us while on our walk.

My cousin suggested we go up Palos Verdes (my old 'hood) and check out the view from the lookout. It was gorgeous. It was such a clear, beautiful day! We could see clear to downtown which is very rare. Usually, it's smog-filled but yesterday was so beautiful.

Then we concluded the day with ice cream near our apartment so my mom could have some dessert. Day completed!

My mom and her brother, Manny.

All of this leads me to thinking about family dynamics. All families have their problems. I've had my problems with my dad. I've never hid that from anyone. But I've learned to accept him and his family. I'd be a more miserable person if I allowed him to disappoint me over and over again. He does disappoint me and makes me angry but I've learned to forgive and move on and try my best to have some kind of relationship with him. I know my dad loves me and I love him and I try to make it work.

My Uncle has an unstable relationship with his younger daughter. We had dinner with her tonight. It was... well, it went just about as well as you might expect. They haven't seen each other in years. It went. It definitely went. And I love my cousin. I love seeing her and being around her and I regret not doing it more especially since she lives her. But, I know she's not in the same place as I am. She has her problems with her dad. The thing is, I know we can relate to each other when it comes to those things. We've had a lot of the same experiences when it comes to parental relationships. And I love my Uncle. He's my mother's brother and I'm very close to my mother's side of the family so it's hard to see them have that dynamic. I wish she felt closer to our side because I think she'd fit in really well. I know my family miss her and would like to see her. That's just not the way things are right now.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. With the holidays, I've seen my family a lot and I love being around them. Usually, it's just me and my mom and working and coming home and I love that. But I also thrive around my family. I love feeling part of something. I've always liked that feeling of being included rather than excluded. This feeling comes and goes but right now it's here and it's really refreshing.

* note: NOW I'm sleepy. Sleep and then replying tomorrow. Promise.