the conversation.

[amelialourdes]

Insomnia is inspirational. To answer you, wordsalone, I'm nocturnal now.

Fic: The Conversation
Fandom: Qaf
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Word Count: 841
Summary: Brian and Justin talk about Justin moving back to Pittsburgh.
Notes: I don't know! This one's been sitting on my desktop and I think I finished it tonight. It's just the way that I imagine their relationship has progressed. Brian knows how to have a conversation now ... sort of. This also could be part of something bigger. Who knows what's going on in my head. Typos are mine! Rip into this one if you want. I'm always open to discussion. :)



“I wanna move into my own place.” Brian just scoffs at the idea and Justin immediately protests the reaction. “Hey, we’re setting up terms here and these are mine.”

“Will it be another dilapidated building with one shared bathroom and no kitchen? Because I thought that that really suited you,” Brian lights a cigarette but Justin can see the smirk.

“No, asshole. You think that I just sat around here and pined away for you? I worked.”

“You mean that shit job at that retail place?” Brian almost laughs but he does want to get laid at some point tonight.

“Do you want me to move back to Pittsburgh or do you just want me to stay in New York, dying of starvation, lack of social activity, and without a decent art review to my name?” Justin’s in his mid-20’s but he can still be such a drama princess. That never fades with age.

“All right, all right,” Brian tones down on the joking to continue with their conversation. “I just don’t understand why you want to move back and get your own place. We almost got fucking married and now you don’t want to live with me?”

“That’s exactly why.” Brian looks over at him, a curious expression on his face. Well, as curious as Brian Kinney can get about a question he doesn’t really want to ask. “It’s not that I don’t want to live with you. I just don’t want to live with you right now. I’ve been living in New York for two years now. I’ve experienced independence and I’m not ready to give it up yet.”

“Oh,” Brian quickly stands to walk to the small window in Justin’s apartment. The window faces the brick wall of the building across. There’s no view of the sky if he looks up and there are no people in the small alley if he looks down. It makes him feel trapped and claustrophobic.

“Brian,” Justin’s tone is gentle and Brian can hear him getting up from the futon on the floor to come up behind him. He doesn’t touch him, not yet. Justin’s mention of independence and being free has struck a nerve in his partner. “I can’t believe after all this time, I mention wanting to be a free and you still think I’m going to break up with you.”

Brian holds his tongue before he can say ‘isn’t that what that means’? The best he can do is, “Well?”

“Well? Well, what?”

“Nothing,” Brian throws the lit cigarette out the open window and turns. He intends to sit back down but Justin blocks his path.

“Don’t do that,” Justin’s voice is deadly serious. It’s hard for Brian to take Justin seriously when he’s standing in front of him with no shirt on, hands on the elastic of his sweatpants, hair a mess from their last fuck, and blue eyes attempting to glare at him. It’s hard to look at him when he’s this fuckable. “Now, what were you going to say?”

“Well, aren’t you?” he admits. “Aren’t you going to leave me?”

“No,” Justin responds quickly. “No, I’m not going to leave you. Brian, only you would think that me moving back to Pittsburgh to be at home, to be near my friends, to be near my mom and Molly, and you, means that I’m going to leave you.”

“Then, why do you want to move into your own place!” Brian’s loud voice surprises both of them.

“Brian, I need to. Okay? Pittsburgh is the one place where I didn’t have an opportunity for independence. I never got to be on my own there. I went from my parents’ place, to living with you, to Ethan, to Daphne, to you again, and that led me here to New York. I just need to have my own space, a place for me.”

Brian’s thinking about Britin. He sold it over a year ago but there are so many times that he wishes he didn’t. This is one of those times. “And the loft doesn’t have that.”

“I can make space in the loft for me but it’s still you. You’re everywhere there and that’s the way I want it. I like that that space is yours.”

“And now you need space for you,” Brian dictates to make sure he has that right.

“Yes.”

“Is this your only term? You’ll move back if you live on your own?”

“Yes.”

Brian thinks about this. They’ve been debating the pros and cons of Justin returning to Pittsburgh for almost three months now. Tonight, they finally begin to determine what they need in their relationship when he comes back. All Justin wants is to have his own place that he can call his own. Brian isn’t ready to have a conservation about selling the loft so this is the only reasonable option. Justin knows that too.

“Will you at least let me help you find a place?”

This time, Justin’s response comes with a large smile that reminds Brian of Justin’s nickname. “Yes.”

Comments

[on-the-ground.livejournal.com]

Loved this. I can totally see it happening and I wonder if Brian wold have sold Britin in a season 6.. anything is possible so we don't know, but I like to think that he'd have kept that place for when Gus and/or Justin came to visit and because he thinks it's where he'll live with Justinwhen he returns.

Great job.. Thank you! :)

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I thought about the same thing but I don't like the thought of, essentially, Brian buying both the loft and buying their home. I know that Brian knows Justin's taste in just about everything but I like the idea of them buying a place together, a place that suits both of their needs at some point. Hmm. That may just be addressed in another fic! Haha.

Thanks for the comment, bb!

[on-the-ground.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree with that too.. I think both possibilities are possible ny mind.. so I'd need to interview Justin and see how how he feels about living there or looking for a new place..

Yep, hope you'll write it ;)

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Oh, totally! Endless possibilities in the future when it comes to those two. Hee, it's definitely in mind!

[mitakay.livejournal.com]

Great job with this-
It's great to see Justin growing up and wanting his own indepenence...but we all know that he will be sleeping over Brian's at least 4x per week...;)

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I completely agree with you, lol. That's usually the way that it happens!

[josieb1.livejournal.com]

This was great, it makes so much sense. Thank you

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the comment!

[friday82.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I forget how much I love great fic. Thank you for posting this! ♥ :)

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Aww! Thank you so much, bb! I really appreciate that. ♥

[lady-jane.livejournal.com]

It’s hard for Brian to take Justin seriously when he’s standing in front of him with no shirt on, hands on the elastic of his sweatpants, hair a mess from their last fuck, and blue eyes attempting to glare at him. It’s hard to look at him when he’s this fuckable.

Bwah! Sometimes I miss IC Brian.

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I miss IC Brian.
He is to be missed! Thanks for saying that it's IC though, hee.

[merkuria.livejournal.com]

All I can say is about time! I it has always baffled me that Justin never got round to having his own place. Nice to think the future might be more normal for them...

And you didn't use Sunshine - for that alone you win!

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Right? I know. He came close in the last season. He seemed so happy there when he was constantly painting away.

And you didn't use Sunshine - for that alone you win!
Hahaha, thanks! I think that it really needs to be used sparingly and only in mocking tones when Brian and Justin are together. Thanks for the comment, bb!

[brokeaholic.livejournal.com]

Loved it!

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!

[sakesushimaki.livejournal.com]

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT YOU WRITE FIC?!?! OMG!!!!1!

And this was awesome. Totally realistic, cute without... too obviously so, and through the details also atmospheric. Just grand!

“No, asshole. You think that I just sat around here and pined away for you?..."
<3 <3 <3

"We almost got fucking married and now you don’t want to live with me?"
Omg! So true! And so awesomely cute!

I demand to be linked to all your fic now! Where do you hide it?

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Omg, I do not advertise it, lol. I started this mythical Qaf story back in 2003 when I was 18 and I'm still working on it. Haha.

Thank you for the descriptive comment! Glad that it at least is coherent. That's all I can ask for, lol.

I demand to be linked to all your fic now! Where do you hide it?
If you want to see how awesomely bad they are, you mean? They're in my memories under 'my fic'. I'll prepare to be embarrassed in advance. I like a couple of them but the older stuff needs another look for revision.

[sfscarlet.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed this- conversations between the two are so key to their relationship- even if they are short, they bring them closer together- I would love to see a series of conversastions - maybe even leading to them being togehter again- but at least up to the move

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I agree with you. On the show there were a few, brief conversations but they happened and they were all important. I think that I'm going to continue this and take your suggestion. Thanks again!

[ayesakara.livejournal.com]

I like it. I can imagine Justin wanting his independence. God, he's what..... 21, 22 at the end of the series. This is a just few years later, so he's still just a kid. And Brian would never begrudge him that. He always wanted him to be his own man first. Neither of them need to smother the other.

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yes, I agree. I always thought that Justin should have enjoyed being on his own for a while and just because he may move back to Pittsburgh, no one should automatically assume that he'd go running back to Brian. People probably think that he's entirely dependent on Brian to begin with. So, I'd like to think that Justin still wants to maintain his independence when he moves.

[reeface.livejournal.com]

OMG AFACE YOU WROTE FICCAGE. ♥

Just so you know, this is now my post-S5 canon. *firm nod* I love this so much. I can definitely see this happening.

“No,” Justin responds quickly. “No, I’m not going to leave you. Brian, only you would think that me moving back to Pittsburgh to be at home, to be near my friends, to be near my mom and Molly, and you, means that I’m going to leave you.”

Funny cos it's true. ;D

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, this is now my post-S5 canon.

Best. Compliment. Ever.

Oh, Brian. So afraid of losing his one twue wuv.

[camelhaircoat.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I missed this, but I lurved it. I love the give and take between the two and poor ol' Brian, that's the way I see him, too. He's just really still scared of losing that little stalker under the big bad facade.

And hey, I'm one of the ones still waiting for the continuation of that mythical QAF story. I loved that thing, don't make fun of it or I'll have to put the smackdown on you.

*Hug*
Amy

[amelialourdes.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I completely agree. Brian's freaking out is just a little more quiet. Justin knows how to ease him out of that mood.

LOL! I like that threat. That threat is good. I know that I'll go back to it. It seems like I'm in the writing flow so I may have to go back and explore that. I already have an outline but mixing all that fantasy in a realistic way is proving to be difficult. Thank you so much, Amy!

[luvflix.livejournal.com]

I love reading QAF fics that take place after the end of the show. What I like about this one is that rather than them rushing back into each others' lives and getting married (completely unrealistic), in this fic it makes more sense to see a more mature Justin wanting his own space. I can totally see his smile when Brian asks to help him find his place! I also love Justin understanding "the ways" that they can talk about their relationship, without being obvious and very "un-Brian" about it.