for the most sensitive among us the noise can be too much.

I try not to be the worst procrastinator in the world but hey, sometimes I am. That said, here's this week's edition. Screencap grabs from kwaf and last week's episode recap by sakesushimaki is right here!

( Recap 105 and pictures here! )

I seriously thought that it was winding down today. Then Darude's "Sandstorm" came on and my heart beat a little bit faster and I got really, really giddy.

I am imagining cool nights, a streetlight, a beautiful boy standing underneath it, and that predatory stare coming from a gorgeous man across the street.

See? Giddy.

I told you guys I was feeling nostalgic so I read a lot of older fic that made me just continue in full nostalgia mode. I began the day (and am probably going to end the day) on rhiannonhero's fanfic.

I literally read through all the RPS here and I have to say that there's enough of a difference in each fic that it doesn't get old or stale. Now, here's where I stand on RPS. I can distinguish real life from television. I'd never call Randy "Justin" (because I don't want to die an early death) or Gale "Brian". I know that Brian and Justin are on television and Gale and Randy are real people.

That said, I can totally picture them getting together in the manner that's presented to me by rhiannonhero. Really, amelialourdes? Really? No, not really! I mean in that fantasy world sense of them getting together. Not because I really believe that they're omgz meant 2 b 2gether forever type of a deal. Okay?

So, rhiannonhero's RPS allows me to indulge in those temporary fantasies that just make things feel right. I think my favorites are Protection, Pine Away, Familiarity, and the Fanboy one just totally makes me LOL.

Remember that fic that I have been looking for forever? I knew it was short and the little plot point was that Dr. Dave got killed after ruminating about the Brian and Justin relationship and was surprised they were still together?

WELL, I FINALLY FOUND IT.

It was someone whose fic I worship. It's burnitbackwards "twenty-two ficlets in a week", #13.

May I say that I find it really strange that I'm the only one who remembers this? Where was everyone the summer of 2004? I know that I was on my computer reading every fanfic I came across that's for darn sure!

Greetings all! Back again for part two of revisiting old Queer as Folk fan favorites. Okay, after giving it some thought this is called the Queer as Folk Nostalgia post series, right? Well, to be nostalgic it has to be fan fic of the past so I'm not going to rec anything that's currently happening in fandom. Everything posted here (from this post on) will be from the beginning of the show until the end (2005) and some change (2006 and maybe 2007 but that's stretching it).

Another little story to share. I went to the Book Soup signing in 2004 and standing there in line you have conversations with people, right? One of our first topics of conversation? Queer as Folk fanfiction. I remember one of the girls there, Sandy, told me that she loved Morpheus's fic and it was her favorite. I pretty much read everything that was out at the time and told her some of my favorites. See? Bonding over fanfic can make you great, fantastic friends. A lot of people who were in our fandom will certainly agree with that.

Now we're revisiting the authors that I looked over in the first post but have certainly not forgotten!

Edit (forgot this one). _alantie: I can't even manage to delete her from my flist. I just can't even do it. I refuse to believe she isn't out there in the internet world somewhere. I hope she is. But her contribution to fandom other than really great artistic icons (and her lovely handmade Christmas cards) was fanfic. I think that the most well known of them all and the most curious is the Untitled Straight!Brian Fic. It's exactly what it says it is. But just when you think you can't think of Brian as straight? Think again. You can read that right here here.

( Get all your nostalgic fic here! )

First of all, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY jittrbugg! I hope that you had a good one.

Secondly, I don't think that I thanked everyone properly for participating in the Valentine's Day Secret Admirer Extravaganza project! Thank you so much to everyone who participated, everyone who sent in messages for their friends, everyone who even got a mention and even those who didn't I'm sending so much love to all of you.

I really enjoyed working on it and putting it together. I just love the tradition and trying to keep it an annual event since it started ... what was it, a couple of years ago in severina2001's journal? I know that sdvmadelyn does the giant one but we still have ours trucking along the highway alongside so, thank you again! Definitely hope to see it next year too. ♥♥♥♥♥ to all of you!

In case you missed it or want to go back and reference (or something) you can find the first post here and the second post here.

Thank you again!

And now as a little side note I am getting SO nostalgic for Qaf again. I mean before with my nostalgia posts (you can find the fic part one here) I was/am just very nostalgic for fandom but now I'm getting show nostalgic!

I was reading arlad's wonderful AU fic The Space Between that I've never read before since I was too busy graduating from college when she wrote it but I just got ridiculously happy thinking about Brian and Justin again. Then I watched the following clips:

1) Hotel sex.
2) Forever young.
3) I want you safe.
5) Domesiticity from S4
6) Not married!
7) BJ from 309
8) Ready to go ...
9) Fucking chicken soup
10) Flirty Justin circa 406!

And I just ... man. It just hit me how much I still love these moments. Watching season four and that scene that they had sitting on the floor with the Chinese boxes I mean what would we have given to have seen that scene a couple seasons prior to that moment? I know that we were all SHOCKED when we saw those clips (on Andrea's site, hee). I remember how much I loved feeling that surprised and happy for those two.

Sigh, memories. I think I need a marathon. I rewind Nuke clips constantly for their little touching moments together and it's been a while since I've done that for Brian and Justin. I know I'll be having a bit of a rewind-a-thon soon!

Oh, Nuke yesterday? *ded*

So, I've made the decision to separate these posts by theme so the first theme is Fan Fiction! The Queer as Folk fandom has had a number of really wonderful authors throughout the show and post show as well. In my search for these gems, I came across several rec posts compiled throughout the years by once active members of this fandom. Basically, my work was done for me, haha. Doesn't mean that I can't add my own two cents and compile this list so that people can refer to these past fics.

I came into fandom in 2003. Season three had just ended and I was wondering about this show called "Queer as Folk". At that point I didn't even know if it was still on or had been renewed for another season but I was interested in watching it. After that first episode? I was hooked. I had to read everything that I could about this show. I went to the shoboards at the Showtime website, the Television Without Pity Forums that were doing recaps of episodes of Qaf, qaftalk boards, everywhere that I could.

During my research I came across several authors that already or had been developing a name for themselves in the Queer as Folk fandom.

Note: Whether these are too OOC for your taste or you consider them badfic or goodfic, these are the most memorable fics that I can pick out of the bunch. I'm not categorizing going to categorize them into (good) badfic because of the implication that may have nowadays. *nod*

1. First there was Morpheus. You can find Morpheus's fiction here. I think I remember starting with What Love Means and then back tracking.

2. I think that my first author that I really kept up with and was really intrigued by had been Randall.

No matter what you may think of Deconstructing Brian or the journals, this is the author that brought me to tears with The Seven Stages of Gus and made me smile with The Other Side of the Fence. I'll never forget feeling giddy with my best friend when we saw that a new chapter of The Quiet Men was posted but unfortunately was never completed.

3. I first found little clips and some videos on Ethan's site and then discovered that he writes too! Everything that I wished would happen or at least discussed are in Ethan's gapfillers. I mean seriously. Gapfillers galore. You can find them in the journal xhaleslowly or to download all of the fic, getithere's "DL Even More Fics Here" option on the sidebar will provide you with a link to download them in a .pdf version.

4. Who hasn't heard of the Abernathy Trilogy? Who hasn't? Because I think that this fic is asked for at least once a year in getithere. Thankfully, you can find it here for you to enjoy from beginning to end. Brian is a small land owner in England and Justin is a slave with a strange tattoo on the back of his neck. Read it and love it.

5. Rachel Anton (sparkledark) and Laura Blaurosen (blaurosen). What comes to mind when hearing their names? Maps and Legends & the infamous teacher!fic. You can find all the chapters of teacher!fic here. Remember how excited we were as each chapter of teacher!fic emerged? I get all warm and fuzzy thinking about it. EDIT: Hope sparkledark doesn't mind. Teacher!fic is locked in her journal so I've saved and archived the fic. DOWNLOAD TEACHER!FIC HERE (REPLACE HXXP WITH HTTP AND WHEN IT'S FINISHED DOWNLOADING REPLACE .PDF WITH .ZIP).

6. Two of my favorite shows are Queer as Folk and Dead Like Me and nanowrenlet made my little cross over dream come true with the creation of Reaper Boy. Just start from the top and work your way to the bottom. Warning: Justin is dead. Don't let that deter you. Just go through his journey with him.

7. Okay, okay. These are my memories remember? So, one day I stumbled across Decadence by CrazyFairy and I never went back. Justin on the streets, Brian as a mob boss, and Michael as the evil!one. I guess I had a thing for time travel at the beginning of my Qaf adventure.

8. Danny. Oh, Danny. Look, when I needed Brian to be jealous? I got it here. You guys have to trust me on this one. Go here and if you're interested in the Jealousy series skip to the bottom. But, I'm biased and I like them all.

9. Now we're crossing into general fic that I remember reading when I got into the show pretty hardcore. This meant fic reading every week, bouncing off the walls when someone posted a new chapter, just a general air of excitement and happiness all around.

One of my favorite challenges of all universal time was the Grocery Store Challenge. That was a pretty shitty month in general for me but November 2003 brought The Grocery Store Challenge. Take your pick because they're all good. Oh, I do highlight Julad's Busy Week on the Fridge because after all this time it still never fails to make me laugh.

10. Speaking of challenges -- Snowin' and Blowin'. I'm skipping ahead to Christmas 2004 which was pretty much the best Christmas ever because of the talent that gathered together to create some of the best fic, videos, and graphics that fandom had seen gathered in one place. You can find mostly everything here. What else can I say about how great that time was? It just was. It was the brain child of burnitbackwards and reinabelle.

Now we're shifting into general awesome that I came across throughout fandom.

I think that several authors come to mind when talking about fan fiction in qaf fandom here on LiveJournal. Their names spread like wild fire among the masses and I think that we all learned to become familiar with them over the next few years:

bea_nonymous: I think most think about Aida and her kick ass awesome fantastic videos but what about her brilliant times twenty fics? She even wrote one RECENTLY and it felt like a fucking Christmas miracle! That is how excited I get about them. Her descriptions, her characterizations, humor, absolutely top notch and I highly recommend. Her, "I'll Wait For You" will never fail to make me cry. Go read them here right now.

bigboobedcanuck: Yeah right. Like I can pick one fic that I like of hers. I deem that task impossible. I think what stands out the most right now though is The Twelve Years of Christmas & From A Safe Distance. But that's just a dent in the wonderful fanfic that she's offered.

burnitbackwards: Loved her. Loved everything about her and her fic. Every time that she posted I literally felt giddy. When Raw emerged we all collectively gasped. When To Know the Difference came out, one read wasn't enough. I needed another and another. I kind of lived for her ficlets. Brilliant. You can check out all of her fiction here.

darksylvia: Leah, hey Leah. :D What a wonderful writer we had in our fandom. I can't tell you how many times I've read/still read Overheard, Domestic Tranquility, and since I'm a huge Friends fan you gotta love the cross over No More Ugly Naked Guy. But there weren't only these great finds. There was so much more to be had and you can find them here.

E and Erin, I'm combining as one because of their great fic 12 Days Of Christmas (12_days) and because of their general greatness as a pair. Unfortunately their site closed down um, unexpectedly I'd say. Thankfully, E's stories are still in their basic form here. I highly recommend Picture Imperfect: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. Thanks to flamencanyc! Erin's fic can be found here.

eleveninches: Four words for you: International Brian Kinney Day. Go read it and read these while you're at it.

jane2005: Jane's been a favorite for a while. I still find myself always going back to read Crisis and Inferno, the latter which is my fantasy season five. Crisis is definitely a personal favorite that never fails to make me cry like a little baby. I have no shame here. But really I have a lot of other favorites in here so check them out for yourself.

julad: Busy Week on the Fridge! Mentioned it but it's also here at her site along with all of her other fic. Yes. I love "Love of His Life" because you know what? Post-S4 didn't we all kind of yearn for those more domestic moments that we ever saw and didn't see ever before that other Brian came along in S4? Yes. Great fandom writer.

juteux: I don't think that she's written anything that I didn't like. Just one of those writers where I could go back and read over and over again. I can't even pick a favorite since there are a lot of stand outs. I'll say I love PDA for the Michael POV, Ready stands out because it's fucking amazing, The Difference ... told you. I can't pick. Can't find them all in one place but they're up on paddies site here in the fanfic section.

lennongirl: Ani's fic always leaves me saying "guh". I mean I'm a woman of no words. I just end with a "guh". Overtime Supplement immediately comes to mind. One of my favorite voyeur fics from Ted's POV. Amazing. Family Date and Meet the Queers never fails to make me smile and think about that Kinney-Taylor family dynamic. Predictable is another one of my all time favorites. So, read them all! Read them all right now.

London: London's series are all definitely unique and tugs at your heart strings. London really takes you on an adventure from season three onward. It veers off course and just develops into this brand new version of the show. That's how I think of it. There's Ethan, other characters involved but I like that she really incorporates everyone in the story while remaining Brian/Justin centric. Go and read London's series here.

mcpofife: I thought that this was going to be weird crack!fic that I never wanted to look at again but it isn't. Welcome to the Monkey House and My Animal are just fun stories when you need to take a break from all the incredible angst. You can find those in the memories here.

mintwitch: I've never been so interested in ficlets or word of the day fic if it weren't for mintwitch. Every single one is memorable and incredibly well written. You can find it here.

mojokid: I'm 100% sure that I've never quite fully recovered from her "How to be Dead". Warning, death fic but in a good way. Go read them all. No skipping.

ragingpixie: Really fills my meter on the domesticity scale. There are just those writers that have it down, you know? Like, there are missing moments in the show when I think, "I wish that would happen" and ragingpixie is one of those writers that completely fulfills any kind of craving that I may have for anything in canon. And her collaboration with bigboobedcanuck is in my top ten. That's called The Long Way and you can find the rest of her fic here.

reinabelle: Always left me wanting more. More! More! More! Why wasn't there more? Elemental Drifts and I Sing the Body Electric come to mind. You can find them here.

rhiannonhero: I'm kind of a whore for future fic. I love the whole ... Brian and Justin are apart and come together again after years and years of separation. I've always loved that and Rhi captures my little fantasy perfectly in Forever Changes Everything. But it's been brought up to me that this isn't her only great fic and I completely agree. Discover which one that you like best. I'm a fan of most.

seperis: I think that this is someone that I discovered yet again through someone else's recommendations or they were thanked in a fic or I just spotted the fic recommended by someone else. That's pretty much how I learned about mostly everyone on this list. But, yet another author that just got it right when it came to canon characters. You can find her fic here.

soundczech: She wrote Stockholm Syndrome. Isn't that enough? Actually it started to be called something else. I guess now it's called "Love Is An Endurance Sport" but it was Stockholm Syndrome when I read it. You can read that here. Just fantastic. MAJOR FUCKING EDIT: GO READ SUBJECT TO CHANGE RIGHT NOW. I just did and my heart will not recover for days.

Part One
Part Two

sweetestdrain: She's done a little bit of everything. There is beloved and total crack fic, there are ficlets, there are great non B/J writing. There's a little bit of everything for everyone's taste and ships (except for Brian and Michael unless you're looking for friendship fics). You can read all of it here.

windtossed: Sometimes fics don't have to be epicly long to get the point across and I got my satisfaction from these fics. Always left me wanting more but I loved what we had while we had it. You can find them here.

Okay ... okay, and I'm putting rizabeau at the bottom here. I am, okay? The minute that I read about babies and twins my hormones must've been spinning because I said, "YES! BABIES! JUSTIN'S BABIES! AND BRIAN CLAIMING AND ALL THAT ANGST!!!111111ONEONEONE!!!" ... okay? Okay. That said, no I don't really enjoy the slow torturous way of every single detail written in long paragraphs and the word "baby" being thrown around and evil!Mikey and a really drawn out Melanie and Lindsay story but hey, BABIES AND THE B.B.B. You know you love it. You do. Don't even try it. Go read it here and start with Songs in the Key of Love.

- What fics here or what kind of feeling do you remember getting seeing new fic by your favorite author?
- Did you get giddy when you got warm, enthusiastic replies from your favorite fandom writer?
- What made your favorite fandom fic memorable?
- Did you enjoy the crack!fic, Mary Sues, mpreg?
- Do you miss these writers and fic as much as I do?

So, those are most of my memories. Believe me, I know that I'm missing a lot. I can see that when I'm looking in other users memory posts. I'm going to get to Myrna, msjudi, plumsuede, tricia, severina & twistinside, etc. But, this is why this is only part one of nostalgia post. There's a number two that's coming. Hopefully that'll be coming tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy this one!

Go to part two!

I guess I've been keeping this window open just trying to figure out what to put in here. I thought, "Maybe a picture?" No. "Maybe a picture with the dates on it?" No. "An image of him?" No.

In the end, I'm just going to put this. Another year has gone by and I still find myself typing in his name in the imdb search box and expecting to find a new project listed there. I was so used to doing that five years ago. Five years ago he completely consumed my life. My "goal", my ambition was really to get involved in a project that he's involved in just to be able to say that I've worked with him in some capacity. I think that scifi_addict can definitely attest to my weird outbursts in high school because I really was completely infatuated with him.

Then in September 2003, I finally saw him in person. His attitude just came off as a little arrogant, a little shy, and I was intimidated. I didn't want to hunt him down for a picture or just to meet him. I was too nervous and scared to meet this man that I was completely enamored with. I couldn't do it. He meant so much to me and I was nervous. I said that I'd have plenty of chances to meet him again.

November 17th, I read an article in a newspaper in Ohio saying that he'd died. I only believed it when the producers of The Year That Trembled e-mailed me back and told me that the news was true.

I keep reliving these moments every year during this time because it all feels like it was yesterday. It's the first time that I ever felt that pain and for someone that I didn't know but for someone that I really did admire, deeply. His ambitions were really the same as mine and at that age, being a college freshman, I had high aspirations and ambitions for myself and Jonathan definitely became a symbol for that. With him gone, I felt and at times I still feel lost.

Every year is different and every year I'm at a different place in my life but I can mark those moments with his passing. Five years ago today Jonathan Brandis died and it's something that I will never forget. I'll never forget how much he meant to me, how much he represented for me, how much he impacted the lives of so many people and he'll never know. So, Jonathan, wherever you are, thank you for what you gave me and continue to give me today. I'm thinking about you.